The State of Working Dads

The State of Working DadsThe State of Working Dads While 85% of fathers wish they could be mora involved in the lives of their newborns during the early months, less than 50% of fathers take as much time as their countrys policy allows. This is often caused by social norms, financial presayas, and lack of support from their organizations. While we hear a lot about women in the workplace , the rights, and struggles of working fathers are far less discussed and advocated for. To celebrate this Fathers Day, I interviewed working fathers across North America to talk more about what being a working father in 2019 has been like for them. Heres what they had to say When it comes to work life balance, almost all working fathers emphasize the importance of time management. Parenthood has required them to make a mental shift towards being present with their families when they are not at work. Marcus Yco , Head of North America, Waze Local says My perspective on work-life b alance has become clearer as a working parent. Needing to reprioritize and be thoughtful about this balance has helped me to become a better leader.Micheal Goldstein , Chief Revenue Officer at Tucows, says Before kids, I welches less disciplined and would procrastinate. Parenthood is a lesson in time management that everyone can benefit from. If you say youre going to stop working at 600 pm, youll find a way to do it if you work with intention. Ive had to learn to be unapologetic about my schedule and boundaries. My goal is to only do one job at the time so I can give my kids my full attention. Dan Capoferri , Senior Manager at Tucows recalls that years ago, when I saw the parents at work leaving earlier to pick their children up from daycare, I thought it was unfair. After having kids of my own, I completely understand and empathize with them. Now, I strive to produce as much as I can within my allocated working hours, but disconnect from work completely when Im home. I can still p rogress my career during my normal working hours without having to work constantly on evenings or weekends.Yco says that Many things will change when you become a new father Before I had children, I routinely worked evenings and weekends. Even after our first was born, I would leave for work before she woke up and come home well after she had gone to sleep. I realized I was missing out on my daughters life entirely and needed to reprioritize around my new family. Now I own mornings with my kids. I make sure that I come home before they go to bed so that I can say goodnight and spend a few hours with my wife.Capoferri says that having kids has also helped him realize his potential for getting things done within working hours. He says I know that when I go home my phone is locked away in my bedroom and Im spending time with my family. I need to accomplish all of my work before leaving the office. This has led me to become more productive, and has been an excellent upgrade. While these fathers seemed to have found a healthy balance, 63% of fathers feel they spend too little time with their children, compared to 35% of mothers who felt the same. Women often feel guilt around falling short in the many roles they take on. This is no unique feeling, as men express similar concerns. Goldstein says that he too has experienced times when he felt like he was doing everything inadequately. He says Comparing yourself as a parental unit to other parents is hard, especially when youre both working and other parents are not. You feel like others are doing it better and are way ahead. As parents, there is implicit judgment from all ends.There is still social stigma for men wanting to take a more active role in parenting their children. When men take a more active role in their kids life, they are made to be seen as less ambitious or irresponsible as professionals. The ideas of what the gender roles should look like can shake people when you dont fit as prescribed says Gold stein. Saad Bellafquih , founder and manager of a management consulting firm says that while he sees improvements in societal expectations and standards, he doesnt feel like there is full equality yet, especially with the perception of a man taking time off to take care of their family.Alan Zel , president and CEO of Zel Human Capital says We have redefined what it means to have it all. Men can suffer from feeling like they have missed out on raising their children because they had to work. Saad explains that whether you are the mother, or the father, you have the same 24 hours in a day, and whatever area you put focus on will force you to sacrifice elsewhere. He says whats important is to acknowledge that the path we choose is our own.In regards to taking time off for paternity leave, Capoferri says I felt as though people were looking at me sideways, wondering why I deserved to take time offeven going as far as to comment if working dads can take time off for paternity leave, wh at about those who choose not to have children? People would make me feel that this time away with my family was undeserved.While todays fathers aspire to be more involved with their families than ever before, men who interrupt their employment for family reasons earn significantly less after returning to work. While todays fathers spend three times as much time with their children and twice as much time on housework than previous generations, the stigma still exists.When it came to supporting their spouses, Zel says to listen, observe, and dont make assumptions about what your lebenspartner needs. Ask questions and try to really understand and hear what their experience is like Yco says I am incredibly lucky to have a partner that I can talk through my career with. My wife is an equal in decision-making when it comes to my career and how it may impact our family. Tactically, taking on more at home in spurts allows us each enough coverage when career responsibilities spil l into the home/family routine Goldstein says Constant communication, and taking as much pride and being invested in their career as you are your own is important. When you can help your spouses career, that should feel like a win in your career, because youre a team.Capoferri says Give them breaks when they need them. Giving your spouse time to themselves to unwind and focus on something other than children is one of the greatest gifts you can provide.What they all agreed on, was that parenting is a team effort, in which both parents must share the responsibilities. With fathers day upon us, make sure you give thanks to your working fathers for all their support and sacrificesIn part two of this article, well discuss what it was like for fathers to take their paternity leaves, and what organizations can do to help make things easier for working parents.Stacy Pollack is a professional development specialist who helps teams and leaders grow and build new skills. She is passionate abo ut creating opportunities for people to advance in their career while improving the development of organizations. She loves sharing insights on human resources, career building, and networking for success. Stacy also holds an MA in Educational Technology. Connect with her on LinkedIn , Twitter , or at www.stacypollack.com.Are you an employer? Check out our Talent Solutions Blog .Thanks for finding us We cover everything from career advice to the latest company headlines.Were always looking for experts, executives and trends to feature on the Glassdoor blog. Interested? 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